THIS IS HOW I FEEL
>my face when Americans call chips “french fries”
>my face when Americans call crisps “chips”
>my face when Americans call lifts “elevators”
>my face when Americans call chocolate globbernaughts “candy bars”
>my face when Americans call merry fizzlebombs “fireworks”
>my face when Americans call wunderbahboxes a “computer”
>my face when Americans call meat water “gravy”
>my face when Americans call electro-rope “power cables”
>my face when Americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a “burger”
>my face when Americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblies “pens”
>my face when Americans call twisting plankhandles “doorknobs”
>my face when Americans call breaddystack a “sandwich”
>my face when Americans call their hoghity toghity tippy typers “keyboards”
>my face when Americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings “PB&J”
>my face when Americans call an upsy stairsy an “escalator”
>my face when Americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a “sweater”
>my face when Americans call a rickity-pop a “gear shift”
>my face when Americans call a choco chip bicky wicky a “cookie”
>my face when Americans call peepee friction pleasure “sex”
>my face when Americans call a pip pip gollywock a “screwdriver”
>my face when Americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a “gun”
>my face when Americans call ceiling-bright a “lightbulb”
>my face when Americans call blimpy bounce bounce a “ball”
>my face when Americans call a slippery dippery long reppy a “snake”
>my face when Americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops “roads”
(via deadsolluxes)
Source: veri-pageofknowledge
As you prepare to learn the many new and amazing ways the iPhone 5 will suck, this classic Louis CK bit should offer some perspective.
(via flavorpill)
Source: comedycentral
- *showering*
- *not hot enough*
- *turns knob 1/16th of an inch*
- Satan himself pours out of your shower head and licks your back seductively.
waiting for my friends to come over, so i decided to eat a banana…
maybe i should do this to the all the bananas sitting on the kitchen counter.
I REGRET NOTHING.
(via thearmedgentleman)
Source: nyriikos







